Let’s see…to be quite honest, I don’t care anymore. I am tired of checking labels. I think we have a good feel for what is made here and what is not. And I’ve realized that if I want something, then I want it. I don’t care where it was made. For example, on March 1, before I had even written the monthly update for February, I bought cold medicine for Stephen. It was made in Mexico and I bought it anyway so that he could sleep that night.

I forgot that I bought olive oil from Spain last month and Stephen bought olive oil this month containing oil (or olives) from at least five counties. And I don’t care. I want olive oil and I don’t have the time or the money to bumble around looking for olive oil made in the US. I did a quick Google search for olive oil made stateside and didn’t find anything, but maybe I didn’t try hard enough.

Stephen also bought avocados and tomatoes for a black bean salad knowing full well that we were breaking the rules. And of course, there were our usual unallowable purchases: emergency gas and non-emergency coffee.

I did have a small break down in Target while buying a baby shower gift. It’s a long story but I bought a Medela product that was probably not made in the US, although it was packaged here (what does that even mean). But first, I stood there for about 20 minutes debating whether I should buy the gift. Do I stick to the guidelines or respect the wishes of two new parents? To even the score, I bought a wooden teething ring shaped like Idaho from a local shop. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Another baby shower guest asked if it was a napkin ring and the expectant mother received two of the exact same Medela gift. I was left with this feeling of I just can’t win.

Of course, I am exaggerating but it has me thinking. I wasted at least 20 minutes in Target over-analyzing my gift giving options while Wyatt almost peed his pants! That’s right, I made Wyatt suck it up while I had this stupid debate with myself. It is crazy making! And for what? What’s the point? I don’t know if we really thought that through in January.

Are we better informed consumers? Are we making more thoughtful choices? Are we spending less money? Are we spending more money? Are we helping fuel our national economy? I DON’T KNOW! And I’m not sure if I care. Right now all I want to do is go to the craft store and buy things made in China to make some Easter gifts. I just want a quarter yard of fabric!

So we might be throwing in the towel. First, I have to decide if today is just a bad day. Second, I have to decide how badly I need to save face—do I want people to know I am a quitter?

This is kind of harsh, but I am going to give us a B-. We probably didn’t make more than our seemingly standard amount of illegal purchases, but we didn’t try very hard to find alternatives or do our homework before whipping out the cash. I also have a negative attitude about the whole thing. And not just today; I’ve been feeling this way for a week or so.